Now leave

“...you don't actually have to go to Maine. And this is finally great news for me again, because I don't want to see you there. The spirit of Maine has infected me. I gave you your goddamned wood, now get the fuck out of here.”

― John Hodgman, from Vacationland: True Stories from Painful Beaches

We don't get mawkish

“Jonathan is a musician and my best friend. I hope he does not read that last part. I would never call him my ‘best friend’ to his face. I am from Massachusetts and he is from Connecticut, and New Englanders do not say things like that.”

― John Hodgman, from Vacationland: True Stories from Painful Beaches