Proposal to Professor Superstar

Come marry me! Come be my love

(Or fake it that you love me).

The job I crave is at your school,

But others rank above me.

The old boy system didn’t die.

It took a new direction.

Today the favored form of pull

Is marital connection.

To hold you fast when we’re a pair,

They’ll surely want to hire me.

When I get tenure, we can split —

There’s no way they can fire me.

— Felicia Nimue Ackerman